Bunker Project Log

Before and After

?

So, the entire IT department is Wooting Off, and this rrreallllly ugly mouse comes up for 5 Bucks American… and I’m wondering, do I buy it? And all the douchebags are bitching about it not being a Bag of Crap instead of telling me whether it is worth it or not… And I’m still wondering, do I buy it? Because, a Tangathon is going on at the same time and the wife is going to rip me to shreds if she finds out that I’d bought another version of Carcassonne… and… two different versions of Settlers of Catan… and should I buy the damn mice? It’s running out… they’re running out of stock… and I’ve got 7 machines on The Lan that could really use a groovy gaming mouse with variable DPI and all that jazz.

So, I say, screw it, I’m going to spend the 20 bucks and I’m going to do this thing, and hey Pottse, you order three of them too, I’ll pay you back… and now I just need one more sucker to convince to buy 3 more of which I will pay for 2 and prorate the shipping… and I do find the sucker, but he’s having some kind of existential dilemna about how his girlfriend is going to rip him to shreds if he buys a $6.66 mouse… I mean geez man, c’mon… she’s still yr girlfriend not your wife. Just grow some stones and click the damn button and stick your card # in there… Gangrene needs some mouses.

So it sells out, and weinerboy still hasn’t clicked, so I’ve only got six to go around.

Since I could find virtually nothing about these things on teh intarwebs, and it is very likely that Woot… not to mention Yugster will be offering these guys up again and again and again, I thought I would give a little back.

Here’s how they look.

The Lynx-Q5’s best side…

It’s?rough, and this is as good as it gets. Those buttons too small and require too much force to press them.?They are also too far back?to press them comfortably (but I?have?big hands.)

The mouse has the usual scroll wheel,?which is very responsive,?with very slight?graduated steps. I?will have to put in some?real play time?before I can say whether this is a good thing for gaming. The interesting parts?are the two arrow buttons on the top and bottom of the scroll wheel. These?toggle the mouse?between 800, 1200 and 1600?dpi. For the 1337 gamer, this means better sniping and… whatever. I am not 1337 enough to know, but I can say I have adjustable dpi gaming mice in my Lan so it’s all good.?

Yes… they are ugly, and that shape looks lame. It certainly isn’t an ergonomic looking thing. However, when they arrived and I pulled the guinea pig out, everyone who laid their hands on it said it felt “really good” and “slidey!” The are pretty slick. I don’t know whether that is because they are new, or have an extra number of little teflon feeties.

Oh noes!!! Don’t hack my serialz!

Not that it matters, but this is the first optical mouse I’ve experienced that doesn’t have an overly designed… almost vaginal optical sensor hole, if you don’t believe me, check out what’s on my desk:

“Love me” (the sensuous Microsoft Wheel Mouse Optical)

“I will?swallow you whole and?smother you in honeyed darkness” (the man-eating Logitech MX-510)

“Whaddyou want?” (the very diesel?iOne Lynx-Q5)

Ahem… well, back to the… rambling…

Setup was a breeze. I was surprised to find that the variable dpi function required no driver support. Apparently there is a downloadable software suite for this thing, but I ain’t touching it with a 10-foot pole. I’ve never had good experiences with custom mouse software. What little gaming I did was “successful”. It “seemed” better. For $5 at least.

For now, I’m going to reserve judgement until the Bunker chimps show up and start playing DOTA or whatever newfangled whoziwhatsit the kids like these days. I’ve upgraded four machines, and left the other four alone, so we’ll be able to make a good A/B comparison on these bad… ummm… girls, and I’ll let you know how it turns out.